Triangle partner help

For Amber (sorry it's kinda late)

Thesis rewrite: I'm not exactly sure what your thesis is, but it sounds like it could be something like "In our attempt to be cool we claim to be different, but in actuality we only adapt the ideas of others to our own needs."

Paragraph: Sorry, I don't have a lot of evidence to contribute to this. An idea though: Going with the re-written version of the thesis it would make a pretty convincing historical example if you could talk about copycat art. I would say that a forgery would make a good example, except that forgers take pride in their mimicry.

Suggestions: the main thing I was confused about in your paper was exactly what your thesis is. To make the focus clearer, you could:
-State your thesis and your arguments in the beginning of the paper, just so we know what we're expecting.
-make sure your arguments relate directly to a strong central point. Your writing is good and I understand each paragraph individually, but I'm not sure what they have to do with the reworking of things already deemed cool you talked about in your intro.

Otherwise, nice paper, I'm sorry if this doesn't help!